Today, I just couldnt help it. I looked outside and just thought.
What if you were still here. What if I saw you walk up the driveway carrying your workboots and
your hat. Swaying that light blue cooler in your other hand. You would knock on the door and yell out.
"Brayden, bud can you get the door for me". You had your hands full. It was daily routine. Even if you didnt have much that day, you always forgot your keys. After you would clean up and you would ask me if I wanted to go down to the shop with you to work on some of the old trucks that needed fixed up. I always had fun doing that with you. We did that almost everyday.
So now as I think, I wonder. What were you feeling, all those days.
You were never to tired to come home and take me to do all the things you knew I loved to do?
You worked so late though? It's like you did it just because, because you knew I enjoyed it.
My favorite memory, Not too exciting for most people dad. But to me, its the most fun I could have, I would take death tomorrow if I could just live that memory today. This memory haunts me, it destroys me, but its also what keeps me breathing. I hold on to it and cherish it. I never know what to make of it.
Its always in the fall, You would take me to go fishing by the lake in the woods, The trees full of color, some of the leaves slowly falling to the ground in shades of red, orange and yellow. Crisp little snapping noises they would make as we crossed over them with our feet. It was like a dream. We would camp there over night. I loved the noises and the feel of the wooded area, the smell of the cool breeze. I loved it there. It was me and you, we talked about everything and anything, we never stopped talking it went on forever, we laughed had marshmallows and honestly, we never really caught many fish we were to busy enjoying the company and laughing at silly, foolish things.
Its the place where I can think of you and all our good memories, but also the worst of all.
That place created me, it was my world, my place of peace.
Then it turned into a place of death. That road, the road in front of that autumn forest, the highway, long, vast and lonely it was the road that stole you. Reached out its arms and pulled you down and into the earth. Yanked at you from all sides and then burned your flesh with heat and rage. It created, then destroyed.
